this is the first caption I have made please give me feedback on it but please don't be mean I'm still learning how to edited
Trying to be as constructive as possible, here's a list of things:
1: Line breaks are necessary. When changing the purpose of the sentence (backstory into scene-setting, etc.), when the thing you're talking about changes, between different characters' dialogue, you should be inserting line breaks. Not only is it just correct, but it makes everything neater, more aesthetically pleasing, and easier to read, instead of just looking like a literal wall of text.
2: Color choices. Black text on a white background is clear but intense. I'd at the bare minimum swap them around so there's less "light" overall. Ideally you'd want to have some sort of dark, fitting background image behind the text, blurred so it doesn't distract from the text itself, with lighter text color on that. Speaking of colors, not entirely necessary, but you can consider color-coding dialogue to different characters in order to not have to jump into full prose for every line.
3: Overall formatting and spacing should be considered. Right now the picture isn't centered and the two text boxes are different sizes. In addition, some sides of the text boxes don't have enough of a margin around them. For instance, if you check the leftmost side, the letters are almost getting clipped off the image, same with the top edge on the left half, and similar on the left edge of the right half.
4: This I can't help much with since I'm certainly not a great teacher, but in general, the writing itself needs work. There's run-on sentences, missing punctuation, capital letters randomly inserted where they shouldn't be, some generally questionable word/sentence structure choices, etc. You don't need to be writing like Shakespeare but a little time spent searching online and learning some basics would definitely help.