"Hola, Chicas! It's your favorite puta coming at you live from Miami Beach, where White Boy Summer 2024 is in full swing! The sun's out, and as you can see, my bikini has already been snagged. The boys are real rowdy this year, and it's only going to get better. To all of my brown bitches out there: get your asses down here! There's plenty to go around!"