ShyAndBehaved said:
Not really a fantasy since it happened. I used to chat with this guy, he started out nice and sweet but he got more dominant and mean as the time went on so by the end of it he was just a full blown abuser and a Nazi.
At the time I was just a normal girl and hated Nazis and misogynists but the change was so gradual and o was so infatuated with his dominant attitude that i let slide everything he said, did and eventually made me do.
He treated me very poorly and humiliated me whenever he could and I behaved and went above and beyond to please him, I was so hooked.
He broke me and made me into a submissive, Nazi loving girl with little to no self esteem, but I regret nothing honestly.
We stayed together for a year or so but ended bc he was going through mental health stuff and didn't want me with him anymore.
To this day Im looking for something like that.
Explains a lot about your lack of European identity (being Euro Spanish), confidence, and so on. That constant power dynamic will take a long while to build up to with any person that would be committed or worthwhile, to say the least how hard you'd have balance shit testing (flirtatious incitement vs emasculation).
The (vicarious) power tripping sounds honestly like an adrenaline addiction the likes of which can only be mirrored by stunt biking, or hyperwheelto
I can't imagine what of my fetishes I want to share. I think they are too probative, or delusional; I'd rather not be seen that way, or put in the effort.