Should I quit?

I feel like I’ve bottomed out and I keep putting more and more pressure on myself to be better, and I don’t know how. I don’t know how to sculpt without it looking like shit. I don’t know how to do better lighting. I don’t know how to make skin look more realistic. I don’t know where to start. And it doesn’t help that @lovecrown21 sent this to me, mostly angry about AOC gooning posts but also said this.

“I don't care if you quit and if you do decide to stay, then all I ask is that you watch some more advanced Blender tutorials so I don't have to see Baby's First Blender Render of AOC with fat tits for the 1000th time.”

“I think you're a self-centered retarded gooner that watched a Blender 101 tutorial and made renders of Bleached when this kink was still primarily threads on 4chan's /trash/ and the booru was 1/16th it's popularity. You gained following from that and now you have this ego that you're a big person in Bleached that people should respect. In reality you're a sniveling retard that rides on the coattails of name recognition to fluff your ego and seem more important than you actually are. You're a micro e-celeb that let your 15 minutes of fame determine how you feel about your online persona. Despite being one of the first people in this scene to make white focused raceplay blender renders, you have been surpassed by everyone else in the community. It amazes me that it took you until 2024 to realize that maybe you should actually fuck with the lightning in your renders to ensure they look decent.”

“I would love it if a year from now you were making content for Bleached that even made me, one of your haters, say 'Goddamn Haus you fucking cooked here'. Though something tells me that won't happen. That you'll continue on this path of being a crybaby fvggot that believes there exists this massive deep schism between Haus enjoyers and Haus haters.”

So, I don’t know, if my own community hates me this much, then maybe I overestimated myself. Maybe I’m just past my prime. Maybe I just suck at what I do. I kinda feel like my entire life has fallen apart over the past 12 months, maybe it’s time to go home.

I’m sorry I let all of you down. I really wish I could’ve done better.

You both n33d a timeout!

Actually no, fuck @lovecrown21.

@Haydricht I don't know about others but I absolutely fucking love your works.

I don't really use the favorite button that much, but my Google favorite has an entire folder set up for your works, it is something I look forward each day when it comes out.

Fuck that prick, you are better than him in many ways and your works are something he can't ever aspire to do.

I also request that if any staff see this ban @lovecrown21 ass from this site, this is harassment and bullying.

thatnewguy said:

Actually no, fuck @lovecrown21.

@Haydricht I don't know about others but I absolutely fucking love your works.

I don't really use the favorite button that much, but my Google favorite has an entire folder set up for your works, it is something I look forward each day when it comes out.

Fuck that prick, you are better than him in many ways and your works are something he can't ever aspire to do.

I also request that if any staff see this ban @lovecrown21 ass from this site, this is harassment and bullying.

In fact I will continue my rant.

You are talented @Haydricht , don't let what a sniveling prick decide what you must be.

Take fucking pride in yourself, you MADE those works, you poured passion and soul into it.

Meanwhile @lovecrown21 is just a coward admin that need to attack others just because he can't do something better than edits.

I repeat, you are an AMAZING artist, and you are only just beginning, the more you create the more you will grown.

Take some time to breathe man, hell, take some time to rest, but don't let that fuck knock you down.

I will say that, for an admin to say these things isn't aproppiate mod behaviour specially when doing personal attacks to your works

thats kinda cowardly, going after smth so personal instead of going after something you could've done genuinely wrong

you need a break and that guy needs to calm down a bit ngl

best of wishes for both, since tagging them this ammount of times will make em see this

See you next week Haydricht

You know Haus. Maybe if you didn't come into my community and antagonize everyone for the sin of talking shit about you or go onto the Discord thread to act like the existence of my community created a 'line in the sand' where there is a Anti-Haus Bleached and a Pro-Haus Bleached, I wouldn't have said anything to you in a private DM. Also nice that you still haven't read it beyond the one (1) mention of AOC. I'm not going to bother rolling in the mud with you because everything I feel about you and what I want to say to you I wrote out clear as day in our DMs together. That said,

> I kinda feel like my entire life has fallen apart over the past 12 months, maybe it’s time to go home.

Based off the snippets you've shared from your life that would be the best. Death in a family is a traumatic experience, made worse by the fact it was a family member that is your next of kin. Losing a parent is a heart wrenching experience that can easily spiral you into a deep depression because it can shatter any sort of happy equilibrium you find yourself at. It creates a sense of lowered self-worth that makes you question everything around you. To be honest, Haus I think you need to enter therapy or some sort of rehab. Something that will help you quit your very obvious porn addiction and get you on the right track to being a better person mentally. We can beef all day and all night until we're both blue in the face. At the end of the day though you'll be right back at square one ready to do it all over again like you're stuck in a perpetual groundhog day. Turn off your phone and PC to go outside for a bit. Do literally anything else but engage in a community built up around porn.

I hope you do quit, not because I'm your D1 hater that would love to see you go. Because you quitting Bleached might actually give you the motivation to fix the ongoing IRL problems around you that put you in this depressive loop. Where you go from being an extremely confrontational individual that loves picking fights with anyone even remotely associated with Blacked to writing yet another 'I'm going to quit Bleached' thread a few weeks to months later. Only for the whole process to restart a few days later. I'll even paypal you some money to cover for gas to start your introductory session at a therapist that is near you if it means you'll actually get some help.

thatnewguy said:

Actually no, fuck @lovecrown21.

@Haydricht I don't know about others but I absolutely fucking love your works.

I don't really use the favorite button that much, but my Google favorite has an entire folder set up for your works, it is something I look forward each day when it comes out.

Fuck that prick, you are better than him in many ways and your works are something he can't ever aspire to do.

I also request that if any staff see this ban @lovecrown21 ass from this site, this is harassment and bullying.

No one asked the local Brazilians of the Booru what their opinion was.

lovecrown21 said:

You know Haus. Maybe if you didn't come into my community and antagonize everyone for the sin of talking shit about you or go onto the Discord thread to act like the existence of my community created a 'line in the sand' where there is a Anti-Haus Bleached and a Pro-Haus Bleached, I wouldn't have said anything to you in a private DM. Also nice that you still haven't read it beyond the one (1) mention of AOC. I'm not going to bother rolling in the mud with you because everything I feel about you and what I want to say to you I wrote out clear as day in our DMs together. That said,

> I kinda feel like my entire life has fallen apart over the past 12 months, maybe it’s time to go home.

Based off the snippets you've shared from your life that would be the best. Death in a family is a traumatic experience, made worse by the fact it was a family member that is your next of kin. Losing a parent is a heart wrenching experience that can easily spiral you into a deep depression because it can shatter any sort of happy equilibrium you find yourself at. It creates a sense of lowered self-worth that makes you question everything around you. To be honest, Haus I think you need to enter therapy or some sort of rehab. Something that will help you quit your very obvious porn addiction and get you on the right track to being a better person mentally. We can beef all day and all night until we're both blue in the face. At the end of the day though you'll be right back at square one ready to do it all over again like you're stuck in a perpetual groundhog day. Turn off your phone and PC to go outside for a bit. Do literally anything else but engage in a community built up around porn.

I hope you do quit, not because I'm your D1 hater that would love to see you go but because you quitting Bleached might actually give you the motivation to fix the ongoing IRL problems around you that put you in this depressive loop where you go from being an extremely confrontational individual that loves picking fights with anyone even remotely associated with Blacked to writing yet another 'I'm going to quit Bleached' thread a few weeks to months later, only for the whole process to restart a few days later. I'll even paypal you some money to cover for gas to start your introductory session at a therapist that is near you if it means you'll actually get some help.

No one asked the local Brazilians of the Booru what their opinion was.

@lovecrown21 you are a fucking piece of shit equal to those pedophiles fuckers of blacked, you attack a person who's clearly suffering through issues just because you need a superiority boner, that admin title doesn't make you anything worth it, you are a still a worm.

The fact you can only say that my opinion doesn't matter, just proves that I was right and you are just a sad pathetic person that is just mad you don't have skills other than editing.

Go cry you cuck, you are just a piece of shit on the side of the road in the end.

thatnewguy said:

@lovecrown21 you are a fucking piece of shit equal to those pedophiles fuckers of blacked, you attack a person who's clearly suffering through issues just because you need a superiority boner, that admin title doesn't make you anything worth it, you are a still a worm.

The fact you can only say that my opinion doesn't matter, just proves that I was right and you are just a sad pathetic person that is just mad you don't have skills other than editing.

Go cry you cuck, you are just a piece of shit on the side of the road in the end.

Your opinion doesn't matter because this is personal drama between Haus and I, not because you're right. I do not need 'skills other than editing' for a porn community.

lovecrown21 said:

Your opinion doesn't matter because this is personal drama between Haus and I, not because you're right. I do not need 'skills other than editing' for a porn community.

This involves the entire community, you mentally harassed a member of our group through private messaging, Knowing full well that he was passing through a difficult moment in his life.

You attacked his works and his skills, that is THE definition of scummy behavior the only reason you are asking me to not get involved is because you don't want someone speaking the truth and calling you out on your bullshit.

You attacked the community and tried to harm a member, this is not just between you two.

lovecrown21 said:

You know Haus. Maybe if you didn't come into my community and antagonize everyone for the sin of talking shit about you or go onto the Discord thread to act like the existence of my community created a 'line in the sand' where there is a Anti-Haus Bleached and a Pro-Haus Bleached, I wouldn't have said anything to you in a private DM. Also nice that you still haven't read it beyond the one (1) mention of AOC. I'm not going to bother rolling in the mud with you because everything I feel about you and what I want to say to you I wrote out clear as day in our DMs together.

For one, your community?? This isn't YOUR community. You are not Bleached. You are an admin on Bleachbooru.

Secondly, I only said something because you and your friends were making jokes about my father dying, NOT EVEN A WEEK AFTER IT HAPPENED. I joined your Discord server not even seeing it was yours, but then I saw it was full of people who don't like me, so I of course did a search for my name. And of course I am going to get pissed when I see you lot making jokes at my expense when something terrible happened to me. If your father died, and you came into my server and saw me making jokes about it right after it happened, and you DIDN'T get mad, I would think something is seriously wrong with you.

Also I had initially wanted to post the entire DM, but I chose not to. I figured I would zero in on the part that was most impactful. Also I've lost 35 pounds since January, so your "fat gut" jab was real classy.

lovecrown21 said:

Based off the snippets you've shared from your life that would be the best. Death in a family is a traumatic experience, made worse by the fact it was a family member that is your next of kin. Losing a parent is a heart wrenching experience that can easily spiral you into a deep depression because it can shatter any sort of happy equilibrium you find yourself at. It creates a sense of lowered self-worth that makes you question everything around you. To be honest, Haus I think you need to enter therapy or some sort of rehab. Something that will help you quit your very obvious porn addiction and get you on the right track to being a better person mentally. We can beef all day and all night until we're both blue in the face. At the end of the day though you'll be right back at square one ready to do it all over again like you're stuck in a perpetual groundhog day. Turn off your phone and PC to go outside for a bit. Do literally anything else but engage in a community built up around porn.

I have been in therapy for 10 years with about 6 different therapists. Also aren't we all porn addicts here? We literally have accounts for a porn website that anyone can view.

lovecrown21 said:
Where you go from being an extremely confrontational individual that loves picking fights with anyone even remotely associated with Blacked to writing yet another 'I'm going to quit Bleached' thread a few weeks to months later. Only for the whole process to restart a few days later. I'll even paypal you some money to cover for gas to start your introductory session at a therapist that is near you if it means you'll actually get some help.

Maybe two years ago this would've been more accurate but I'm not nearly as confrontational as I was back then. And really the only times I do confront people is when they make/do something genuinely fucked up. It seems like you're stuck seeing a dated version of myself circa early to mid 2023 where I was flying off the handle due to some personal conflicts in the NSFW community at large. Except you aren't because clearly you know about my personal life details, you're just choosing to zero in on my worst moments and block the rest out. And the fact you see Blacked as "just a fetish," that GeneralButch was "doing nothing but trying to farm dumb cucks for money by making animations," but you see me with such negativity and hatred, it does not paint a great picture of yourself. Please, when I start convincing black men to carve "BLDM" into their arms, mutilate their dicks, and take bathtub estrogen for WNWO, or I start screaming at voice actresses for hours because they don't want to say the n-word, THEN we can talk about "just being a fetish" and "just being an artist."

Haydricht said:

For one, your community?? This isn't YOUR community. You are not Bleached. You are an admin on Bleachbooru.

Secondly, I only said something because you and your friends were making jokes about my father dying, NOT EVEN A WEEK AFTER IT HAPPENED. I joined your Discord server not even seeing it was yours, but then I saw it was full of people who don't like me, so I of course did a search for my name. And of course I am going to get pissed when I see you lot making jokes at my expense when something terrible happened to me. If your father died, and you came into my server and saw me making jokes about it right after it happened, and you DIDN'T get mad, I would think something is seriously wrong with you.

Also I had initially wanted to post the entire DM, but I chose not to. I figured I would zero in on the part that was most impactful. Also I've lost 35 pounds since January, so your "fat gut" jab was real classy.

I have been in therapy for 10 years with about 6 different therapists. Also aren't we all porn addicts here? We literally have accounts for a porn website that anyone can view.

Maybe two years ago this would've been more accurate but I'm not nearly as confrontational as I was back then. And really the only times I do confront people is when they make/do something genuinely fucked up. It seems like you're stuck seeing a dated version of myself circa early to mid 2023 where I was flying off the handle due to some personal conflicts in the NSFW community at large. Except you aren't because clearly you know about my personal life details, you're just choosing to zero in on my worst moments and block the rest out. And the fact you see Blacked as "just a fetish," that GeneralButch was "doing nothing but trying to farm dumb cucks for money by making animations," but you see me with such negativity and hatred, it does not paint a great picture of yourself. Please, when I start convincing black men to carve "BLDM" into their arms, mutilate their dicks, and take bathtub estrogen for WNWO, or I start screaming at voice actresses for hours because they don't want to say the n-word, THEN we can talk about "just being a fetish" and "just being an artist."

As I said man, those that attack people while they are down are the scummiest people on this earth, don't give a shit about what he says, he's a weak willed man that needs to feel validated.

Fuck @lovecrown21

lovecrown21 said:

You know Haus. Maybe if you didn't come into my community

I wasn't aware this whole bleached community was yours personally, my apologies gang, I was not familiar with your game. Being a power tripping admin on a porn site dedicated to a raceplay fetish is crazy work btw

AryanSuperSoldier said:

I wasn't aware this whole bleached community was yours personally, my apologies gang, I was not familiar with your game. Being a power tripping admin on a porn site dedicated to a raceplay fetish is crazy work btw

LC meant our Discord server that Haus joined just to stir shit up. Guess coprehensive reading isn't a thing they teach in Aryan Super Soldier school.

T_700_Z said:

See you next week Haydricht

Real

As for the question asked in the title. You should quit, your account turned into a shitpost cesspool.

VTheEditor said:

As for the question asked in the title. You should quit, your account turned into a shitpost cesspool.

Idek who you are

No, don't quit. It would be boring without you here.

how did lovecrown go from a random user to admin in short amount of time compared to site history? i just think admins should be like that earl guy or hana where they just rarely appear. The isolated king of the mountain type.

VTheEditor said:

LC meant our Discord server that Haus joined just to stir shit up. Guess coprehensive reading isn't a thing they teach in Aryan Super Soldier school.

Neither do they teach good morals and how to be a decent human o
In yours, you attacked a man's on his lowest momenent and made fun of his father's death, you don't have the fucking ground here to defend yourself here.

That was mental abuse you pieces of shit.

Haydricht said:
Maybe two years ago this would've been more accurate but I'm not nearly as confrontational as I was back then. And really the only times I do confront people is when they make/do something genuinely fucked up. It seems like you're stuck seeing a dated version of myself circa early to mid 2023 where I was flying off the handle due to some personal conflicts in the NSFW community at large. Except you aren't because clearly you know about my personal life details, you're just choosing to zero in on my worst moments and block the rest out. And the fact you see Blacked as "just a fetish," that GeneralButch was "doing nothing but trying to farm dumb cucks for money by making animations," but you see me with such negativity and hatred, it does not paint a great picture of yourself. Please, when I start convincing black men to carve "BLDM" into their arms, mutilate their dicks, and take bathtub estrogen for WNWO, or I start screaming at voice actresses for hours because they don't want to say the n-word, THEN we can talk about "just being a fetish" and "just being an artist."

I'm beginning to think that there are disguised Blacked accounts in this site, I have seen many posts talking shit about original bleached artists, it makes no sense for them to attack someone contributing to our community, but they don't criticize low effort edits nor slop AI, only people doing actual work.

It almost looks like they are trying to deliberately stunt the growth of our community by attacking Artists invested in the fetish so that we don't become popular.