To the men and women of this booru what's your stance on dorks? Do you love them, hate them, or not really know how to place it?
I personally think dorks are cute especially black or black white mixed dorks are cute.
Posted under General
I feel like it's another thing that gets romantised through media, like someone hears " Dork " and thinks scott pilgrim ( the movie version ) or [equivilent female dorky character] - In reality what you get is someone who's socially inept and/or introverted.
Like personally i've tried my luck quite a few times approaching shy or nerdy looking girls and typically they'll be every akward and uncomfortable because they don't like to talk to people and spend the poor excuse for a conversation just listening until one of you has an excuse to fuck off. Generally just a miserable time for all parties involved and the conversations don't last very long since they're too one sided.
Maybe other people have had different experiences and i'm the odd one out but that's my take.
IvoryFuta-II said:
I feel like it's another thing that gets romantised through media, like someone hears " Dork " and thinks scott pilgrim ( the movie version ) or [equivilent female dorky character] - In reality what you get is someone who's socially inept and/or introverted.
Like personally i've tried my luck quite a few times approaching shy or nerdy looking girls and typically they'll be every akward and uncomfortable because they don't like to talk to people and spend the poor excuse for a conversation just listening until one of you has an excuse to fuck off. Generally just a miserable time for all parties involved and the conversations don't last very long since they're too one sided.
Maybe other people have had different experiences and i'm the odd one out but that's my take.
Many men are biologically predisposed to like socially awkward girls because in times past they would (obviously) be less popular and have less of a social group which meant more of a chance of getting with them and less of a chance of them cheating on you, but the internet kinda changed that with all the socially awkward girls on soicla media and in discord groups getting a bunch of male attention now so that rule doesnt necessarily hold true.
fkiblaze said:
Many men are biologically predisposed to like socially awkward girls because in times past they would (obviously) be less popular and have less of a social group which meant more of a chance of getting with them and less of a chance of them cheating on you, but the internet kinda changed that with all the socially awkward girls on soicla media and in discord groups getting a bunch of male attention now so that rule doesnt necessarily hold true.
That's actually a lie, men are biologically predisposed to be hypogamous (dating women more attractive than them) and they prefer women to be social (there are studies on this) the reason some men prefer "nerdy girls" is either a fetish, a misconstrued opinion over nerdy girls not cheating, lying or abandoning them or them wanting a girl that's already previously isolated (they're easier to manipulate). No man would genuinely want to date a femcel/nerd biologically, or else there would be 0 female NEETs, nerds, femcels etc
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0092656610000279?via%3Dihub
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0146167215577366
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886918304835?via%3Dihub
Updated
IvoryFuta-II said:
I feel like it's another thing that gets romantised through media, like someone hears " Dork " and thinks scott pilgrim ( the movie version ) or [equivilent female dorky character] - In reality what you get is someone who's socially inept and/or introverted.
Like personally i've tried my luck quite a few times approaching shy or nerdy looking girls and typically they'll be every akward and uncomfortable because they don't like to talk to people and spend the poor excuse for a conversation just listening until one of you has an excuse to fuck off. Generally just a miserable time for all parties involved and the conversations don't last very long since they're too one sided.
Maybe other people have had different experiences and i'm the odd one out but that's my take.
Kinda real. I did know a socially isolated person she didn't talk much but I did learn she was going into a welding apprenticeship and liked taxidermy.
LatinaOfHearts said:
That's actually a lie, men are biologically predisposed to be hypogamous (dating women more attractive than them) and they prefer women to be social (there are studies on this) the reason some men prefer "nerdy girls" is either a fetish, a misconstrued opinion over nerdy girls not cheating, lying or abandoning them or them wanting a girl that's already previously isolated (they're easier to manipulate). No man would genuinely want to date a femcel/nerd biologically, or else there would be 0 female NEETs, nerds, femcels etc
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0092656610000279?via%3Dihub
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0146167215577366
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886918304835?via%3Dihub
Do these studies speak on compability, though? I don't disagree with the notion that female NEETs are just as draining to be around as male ones, but in general a nerdy man will be happier with a nerdy woman as far as prospects go. I see plenty of dudes in my geekier circles that have partners which may be less conventionally attractive, but they are real happy together due to their shared interests.
That said, if you only want a nerdy and insecure bitch because you yourself are an insecure bitch, you need to work on that
TwentyWeeks said:
Do these studies speak on compability, though? I don't disagree with the notion that female NEETs are just as draining to be around as male ones, but in general a nerdy man will be happier with a nerdy woman as far as prospects go. I see plenty of dudes in my geekier circles that have partners which may be less conventionally attractive, but they are real happy together due to their shared interests.
That said, if you only want a nerdy and insecure bitch because you yourself are an insecure bitch, you need to work on that
That's the problem, compatibility might be better (no studies on that) but there's gonna be no compatibility if you don't find that person attractive/they don't fit your standards. It's a sad thing cause as a female nerd myself I know tons of girls that are struggling to find partners (even amongst nerdy circles) because they're not particularly attractive
The real thing is that due to social atomization and the rise of the internet as socialization instead of being forced to seek people out in person, it's far and away easier for introverts like said 'dorky' people to simply interact on their own terms. Makes dating difficult, and inhibits the idea of even wanting to seek out a romantic partner.
LatinaOfHearts said:
[Babygirls and girlfailures are studied to be cute, but its another matter if they are attractive]
I find that it is often a strange fear of affection. It is vulnerable, but that's intimacy. And intimacy is a choice, a hard one when you don't know your own future.
I cant imagine a relationship to begin with if there is no deliberate choice for the forseeable future. To like or find that person interesting. It doesnt need to be much. Do you even know how to hold hands?
A hard thing to deal with is how there are different standards for different roles. Not even men can be everything, why should women expect that of themselves or others. A perfect person doesnt need a relationship.
Another one is that a relationship is not a complete package, like a new home, it takes a lot to make it feel like one. Warts and all. You arent a loser if you live comfortably, hopefully he knows the value of silently holding you in his arms.
LatinaOfHearts said:
That's actually a lie, men are biologically predisposed to be hypogamous (dating women more attractive than them) and they prefer women to be social (there are studies on this) the reason some men prefer "nerdy girls" is either a fetish, a misconstrued opinion over nerdy girls not cheating, lying or abandoning them or them wanting a girl that's already previously isolated (they're easier to manipulate). No man would genuinely want to date a femcel/nerd biologically, or else there would be 0 female NEETs, nerds, femcels etc
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0092656610000279?via%3Dihub
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0146167215577366
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886918304835?via%3Dihub
Nothing you linked there goes against what i said, and in fact you went on the agree with me:
"a misconstrued opinion over nerdy girls not cheating, lying or abandoning them or them wanting a girl that's already previously isolated"
That was what i said. Also women are the ones that are hypergamous and date up, but if you just mean looks, yea obviously men care about looks, no one said otherwise. And there is practicly zero femcel, idk where you are basing it off. Regardless, that wasn't even what i said. I never said men like ugly girls, i was talking about social outcasts like emos, goths, nerds and the like.
fkiblaze said:
Nothing you linked there goes against what i said, and in fact you went on the agree with me:
"a misconstrued opinion over nerdy girls not cheating, lying or abandoning them or them wanting a girl that's already previously isolated"
That was what i said. Also women are the ones that are hypergamous and date up, but if you just mean looks, yea obviously men care about looks, no one said otherwise. And there is practicly zero femcel, idk where you are basing it off. Regardless, that wasn't even what i said. I never said men like ugly girls, i was talking about social outcasts like emos, goths, nerds and the like.
It absolutely does because your main point is this
"Many men are biologically predisposed to like socially awkward girls because in times past they would (obviously) be less popular and have less of a social group which meant more of a chance of getting with them and less of a chance of them cheating on you,"
Men are not biologically predisposed to like social outcasts, they want social women (even socially outcasted men think this way too). The fact that we agree on the end conclusion of "social outcasts aren't saints" doesn't mean we have the same opinions on why this is a phenomenon or rather why it's perceived by men to be a phenomenon.
As for women being hypergamous, not at all, there are quite a couple studies that disagree with you (I have the links but can't be bothered to send them here, possibly on discord). Men find attractiveness way more important than women do. Saying there is practically zero femcel is funny when you're essentially talking to one that knows a good couple of them (plus has linked you a statistic showing that 37% of women are handholdless virgins versus 35% of men)
LatinaOfHearts said:
It absolutely does because your main point is this
"Many men are biologically predisposed to like socially awkward girls because in times past they would (obviously) be less popular and have less of a social group which meant more of a chance of getting with them and less of a chance of them cheating on you,"
Men are not biologically predisposed to like social outcasts, they want social women (even socially outcasted men think this way too). The fact that we agree on the end conclusion of "social outcasts aren't saints" doesn't mean we have the same opinions on why this is a phenomenon or rather why it's perceived by men to be a phenomenon.
As for women being hypergamous, not at all, there are quite a couple studies that disagree with you (I have the links but can't be bothered to send them here, possibly on discord). Men find attractiveness way more important than women do. Saying there is practically zero femcel is funny when you're essentially talking to one that knows a good couple of them (plus has linked you a statistic showing that 37% of women are handholdless virgins versus 35% of men)
There’s no way that 37% of women are handholdless virgins compared to 35% of men. This is either isolating for young people or a specific age range of young people, or it’s just not possible. Femcels just aren’t a thing no matter how much socially outcasted or unattractive women wish they were.
Incel means involuntarily celibate, meaning it’s not within the man’s choice as to whether he can get sex. It’s always and completely within the woman’s choice and decision as to whether or not they want to get dicked down period full stop with a cherry on top. What femcels are really harping on about is that they can’t get a relationship (which is NOT the same a sex), because that’s what women want out of a man, the security and everything else that comes with being partnered with a man that cares for them. What men want is also kind of the same but with more of an emphasis on the sex and attractiveness aspect out of the relationship. I’m more than willing to accept that their are women out their who can’t hold down relationships or get them started, but what I won’t concede is that some social inept or ‘ugly’ women are unable to get sex whenever/wherever they want from the untold horde of desperate men.
AryanSuperSoldier said:
There’s no way that 37% of women are handholdless virgins compared to 35% of men. This is either isolating for young people or a specific age range of young people, or it’s just not possible. Femcels just aren’t a thing no matter how much socially outcasted or unattractive women wish they were.
Incel means involuntarily celibate, meaning it’s not within the man’s choice as to whether he can get sex. It’s always and completely within the woman’s choice and decision as to whether or not they want to get dicked down period full stop with a cherry on top. What femcels are really harping on about is that they can’t get a relationship (which is NOT the same a sex), because that’s what women want out of a man, the security and everything else that comes with being partnered with a man that cares for them. What men want is also kind of the same but with more of an emphasis on the sex and attractiveness aspect out of the relationship. I’m more than willing to accept that their are women out their who can’t hold down relationships or get them started, but what I won’t concede is that some social inept or ‘ugly’ women are unable to get sex whenever/wherever they want from the untold horde of desperate men.
I have lost the statistic, I remember it was from PEW reasearch group but I can't find it in my archived sources. However, essentially every other source I look at said one of two things
1) 25-50 year old women are more likely to be virgins, full stop.
2) young men (18-25) living with their parents are more likely to not have had relationships or sex. Immediately after moving out the rates plummet
And yeah no I will completely disagree on the fact that it's always the woman's choice, it definitely is if you're attractive but otherwise it's a long road to getting picked (for both men and women) especially because isolated/desperate men are still picky and want the best of the bunch (women are not exempt from this either, but I've only seen this happen by online larping accounts so idk 🤷🏽)
AryanSuperSoldier said:
There’s no way that 37% of women are handholdless virgins compared to 35% of men. This is either isolating for young people or a specific age range of young people, or it’s just not possible. Femcels just aren’t a thing no matter how much socially outcasted or unattractive women wish they were.
Incel means involuntarily celibate, meaning it’s not within the man’s choice as to whether he can get sex. It’s always and completely within the woman’s choice and decision as to whether or not they want to get dicked down period full stop with a cherry on top. What femcels are really harping on about is that they can’t get a relationship (which is NOT the same a sex), because that’s what women want out of a man, the security and everything else that comes with being partnered with a man that cares for them. What men want is also kind of the same but with more of an emphasis on the sex and attractiveness aspect out of the relationship. I’m more than willing to accept that their are women out their who can’t hold down relationships or get them started, but what I won’t concede is that some social inept or ‘ugly’ women are unable to get sex whenever/wherever they want from the untold horde of desperate men.
I always struggle to accept that "women can't be incels because they can just have sex". The term incel has been watered down over the years I get that but if we purely go by the definition "involuntarily celibate" then most if not all self proclaimed incels cease to be incels. Because most "incels" I have seen tend to be like average guys that don't try enough (Granted the reason is often mental illness, etc. But girls struggle with mental illness like that too and we don't grant them the same excuse somehow?) Mid to even ugly guys get laid like all the time, it's not that hard actually (again with caveats trying to get laid 24/7 is probably really bad for you mentally). There are studies that show that the one factor that determines how much you have sex is how hard you try to get it.
Then there might be a subsect of men that can't have sex because of unchangeable characteristics. But even then if you are able to hold down a job and get a little bit of money then you can just buy a prostitute. But the general consensus in incel circles seem to be that this doesn't count. But then I almost have to say that getting laid from a man that just uses you for your body and has no real attraction to you does not count either cuz in both cases it's a cold exchange.
People tend to forget that the original love-shy forum was for people struggling with a specific shyness around potential romantic partners which is severe enough as to inhibit them in dating altogether. Something women absolutely can have.
Very few "truecels" exist. Incelism seems to mostly be a mental thing. Saying women can get laid anytime anywhere is just as reductive as me saying "incels just need to try harder lmao then they can get laid".
The discourse in incel circles also seem to be that love has to be involved somehow for sex to count, but when it's about women then it turns solely towards sex and I just don't really buy it. If anything it's more over if you are an ugly girl than if you are an ugly guy because studies show that men care about appearance a lot more than women, and men are able to compensate if they are ugly (by being rich, charismatic etc) But women are more defined by their appearance first. (sorry for not sourcing any sources I am dead tired and just wanted to contribute to the conversation)