Bleachbooru

Is there a way for me?

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Hello bleachbooru, not gonna make this entry long or emotional.
Im tired, im fully fucking tired of the state of mind where i am right now. Its not suicidal, but its fucking anger.
Im white, and i want to be proud to be white. But the fucking porn addiction made me observe that fucking worst side of blacked where "Sissy whitebois" masturbate or whatever. Seriously, im fucking angry at my self for being like this, i want to stop masturbating, i want to think only what i want.
But no. My fucking brain remembers almost every damn video or damn images i didnt even look on but simply scrolled away. I dont want to think about it, but my stupid fucking brain continues, i even punch my self in the head, trying to fucking dont think about it.
Seriously, maybe i could try knocking out a wedge with a wedge, trying to goon my head off to bleached, so i could actually forget about shit i've already planted in my head.
I dont know what to do, and i fucking wished i never knew about this shit, never knew about blacked or any fucking interacial porn.
Im tired, i just wish there was a way for me to erase my memory and be in peace.

To be honest, it even crossed the line of hate, i want to kill niggers, or i want to kill damn race traitors bitches. I want to make someone feel full pain of what i felt, i fucking hate porn.

Updated by lovecrown21

Some of y'all need to learn to compartimentalize. What you get off to doesn't define you, specially when it's not real. Look at me, I'm here watching pics of nigger sluts declaring their allegiance to white cock despite being completely anti-racist in real life. Even if I do end up with a non-white partner, this is something I'd only want in the bedroom, at most, and only if they want it too. Outside, we would be equals. And if my partner doesn't want to even entertain it, that's fine, I can live without my fetishes, I'm not going to let them affect my life, I'm not gonna let them affect how I see people.

Let yourself be into what you're into, you didn't choose your kinks, and they are not who you are, no need to be angry at yourself for them, it's not real, pixels on a screen, Just don't let them affect you, the real you. Specially, don't let it define how you see people, don't let it make you think one race is superior to another (be it blacks to whites, whites to blacks, or whatever else), it's just fiction.

Now, if you're talking about overcoming porn addiction, that is actually a pretty good idea (and much better than "knocking out a wedge with a wedge"), I do wholeheartedly recommend it, you can find help online. If you decide to do that, I wish you luck!

Alright first guy here who’s not going to dismiss you and your troubles. It’s pretty tough being a young person now just being absolutely inundated with copious amounts of porn at a really young age, many kinds of porn that are obscenely degenerate nature, that is extraordinary damaging to one’s psyche growing up.

A lot of people would just say “get over it, don’t take it so seriously, get busy to distract yourself etc” but don’t really understand the neurological and bio chemical imbalances that have caused you (and many others) to be this way. I think the way I’ve managed is by denigrating and then ignoring shit that I know is bad for me psychologically whenever I see it pop up, and trying my best to only view or watch porn that is in some way empowering to me as a white guy. Which just so happens to be in high supply on bleachbooru.

The real issue arises then when the novelty of stuff I find, on this site especially, begins to wear off (the allure of Nazi anime girls basically, and white is right rhetoric lol), but basically the appeal of white glorification porn begins to give less and less dopamine hit as a reward and so I am getting bored or burnt out with porn that is psychologically rewarding but not chemically rewarding. The trick now I guess is basically to pull away from porn entirely now instead of relapsing into some other kind of fucked up kink/fetish and beginning the cycle anew, and certainly not either relapsing or diving into further interracial pornography. which I don’t think is easy for anyone who has been inundated from such young age (like me, you, and many others).

It’s easy to say “tldr stop cranking your jank and touch grass bro”, but the impulse to fap is very strong on someone who is for lack of a better term trapped in a hell of their own unwitting making (ie harmlessly fapping when you were a teenager once every 2 weeks or so, now has become a near daily occurrence to cope with the stresses of your life and escape from the world).

AryanSuperSoldier said:

Alright first guy here who’s not going to dismiss you and your troubles.

You have a funny way to spell "second". But I agree with you in one thing: porn addiction is damaging, and overcoming it is not easy (just like any addiction), which is why I suggested finding help to do so.

AmITheOnlyOne said:

Hello bleachbooru, not gonna make this entry long or emotional.
Im tired, im fully fucking tired of the state of mind where i am right now. Its not suicidal, but its fucking anger.
Im white, and i want to be proud to be white. But the fucking porn addiction made me observe that fucking worst side of blacked where "Sissy whitebois" masturbate or whatever. Seriously, im fucking angry at my self for being like this, i want to stop masturbating, i want to think only what i want.
But no. My fucking brain remembers almost every damn video or damn images i didnt even look on but simply scrolled away. I dont want to think about it, but my stupid fucking brain continues, i even punch my self in the head, trying to fucking dont think about it.
Seriously, maybe i could try knocking out a wedge with a wedge, trying to goon my head off to bleached, so i could actually forget about shit i've already planted in my head.
I dont know what to do, and i fucking wished i never knew about this shit, never knew about blacked or any fucking interacial porn.
Im tired, i just wish there was a way for me to erase my memory and be in peace.

To be honest, it even crossed the line of hate, i want to kill niggers, or i want to kill damn race traitors bitches. I want to make someone feel full pain of what i felt, i fucking hate porn.

Well, there isnt a way to erase your memory, but a way to improve your situation? Hell yes
Go out, hang out with your buddies, search for new hobbies and interests, go to the gym or do whatever exercise, take classes on what activity youre interested.
Make steps, the important part is to be occupied with meaningful things, so they will substitute the not meaningfull ones,
Take strolls, learn to cook, whatever, everything helps.
Its easier said than done, but man, you only need to start.

AmITheOnlyOne said:

Hello bleachbooru, not gonna make this entry long or emotional.
Im tired, im fully fucking tired of the state of mind where i am right now. Its not suicidal, but its fucking anger.
Im white, and i want to be proud to be white. But the fucking porn addiction made me observe that fucking worst side of blacked where "Sissy whitebois" masturbate or whatever. Seriously, im fucking angry at my self for being like this, i want to stop masturbating, i want to think only what i want.
But no. My fucking brain remembers almost every damn video or damn images i didnt even look on but simply scrolled away. I dont want to think about it, but my stupid fucking brain continues, i even punch my self in the head, trying to fucking dont think about it.
Seriously, maybe i could try knocking out a wedge with a wedge, trying to goon my head off to bleached, so i could actually forget about shit i've already planted in my head.
I dont know what to do, and i fucking wished i never knew about this shit, never knew about blacked or any fucking interacial porn.
Im tired, i just wish there was a way for me to erase my memory and be in peace.

To be honest, it even crossed the line of hate, i want to kill niggers, or i want to kill damn race traitors bitches. I want to make someone feel full pain of what i felt, i fucking hate porn.

Go get a job nigga 💔🙏

Marcal91 said:

Some of y'all need to learn to compartimentalize. What you get off to doesn't define you, specially when it's not real. Look at me, I'm here watching pics of nigger sluts declaring their allegiance to white cock despite being completely anti-racist in real life. Even if I do end up with a non-white partner, this is something I'd only want in the bedroom, at most, and only if they want it too. Outside, we would be equals. And if my partner doesn't want to even entertain it, that's fine, I can live without my fetishes, I'm not going to let them affect my life, I'm not gonna let them affect how I see people.

Let yourself be into what you're into, you didn't choose your kinks, and they are not who you are, no need to be angry at yourself for them, it's not real, pixels on a screen, Just don't let them affect you, the real you. Specially, don't let it define how you see people, don't let it make you think one race is superior to another (be it blacks to whites, whites to blacks, or whatever else), it's just fiction.

Now, if you're talking about overcoming porn addiction, that is actually a pretty good idea (and much better than "knocking out a wedge with a wedge"), I do wholeheartedly recommend it, you can find help online. If you decide to do that, I wish you luck!

I dont think it will help, especially "Let yourself be into what you're into", i fucking hate especially that part i spoke about before.
I dont feel love, nor i felt in a long time and thats why lust is close to me. So I better knock out wedge with an wedge. There is porn i hate, and there is porn i want to like.
And i want my thoughts, if they are lustful, to be only what i want. And after discovering BLEACHED its better to focus my porn addiction on this one. Not on the shit i've saw.

AryanSuperSoldier said:

Alright first guy here who’s not going to dismiss you and your troubles. It’s pretty tough being a young person now just being absolutely inundated with copious amounts of porn at a really young age, many kinds of porn that are obscenely degenerate nature, that is extraordinary damaging to one’s psyche growing up.

A lot of people would just say “get over it, don’t take it so seriously, get busy to distract yourself etc” but don’t really understand the neurological and bio chemical imbalances that have caused you (and many others) to be this way. I think the way I’ve managed is by denigrating and then ignoring shit that I know is bad for me psychologically whenever I see it pop up, and trying my best to only view or watch porn that is in some way empowering to me as a white guy. Which just so happens to be in high supply on bleachbooru.

The real issue arises then when the novelty of stuff I find, on this site especially, begins to wear off (the allure of Nazi anime girls basically, and white is right rhetoric lol), but basically the appeal of white glorification porn begins to give less and less dopamine hit as a reward and so I am getting bored or burnt out with porn that is psychologically rewarding but not chemically rewarding. The trick now I guess is basically to pull away from porn entirely now instead of relapsing into some other kind of fucked up kink/fetish and beginning the cycle anew, and certainly not either relapsing or diving into further interracial pornography. which I don’t think is easy for anyone who has been inundated from such young age (like me, you, and many others).

It’s easy to say “tldr stop cranking your jank and touch grass bro”, but the impulse to fap is very strong on someone who is for lack of a better term trapped in a hell of their own unwitting making (ie harmlessly fapping when you were a teenager once every 2 weeks or so, now has become a near daily occurrence to cope with the stresses of your life and escape from the world).

AryanSuperSoldier said:

Alright first guy here who’s not going to dismiss you and your troubles. It’s pretty tough being a young person now just being absolutely inundated with copious amounts of porn at a really young age, many kinds of porn that are obscenely degenerate nature, that is extraordinary damaging to one’s psyche growing up.

A lot of people would just say “get over it, don’t take it so seriously, get busy to distract yourself etc” but don’t really understand the neurological and bio chemical imbalances that have caused you (and many others) to be this way. I think the way I’ve managed is by denigrating and then ignoring shit that I know is bad for me psychologically whenever I see it pop up, and trying my best to only view or watch porn that is in some way empowering to me as a white guy. Which just so happens to be in high supply on bleachbooru.

The real issue arises then when the novelty of stuff I find, on this site especially, begins to wear off (the allure of Nazi anime girls basically, and white is right rhetoric lol), but basically the appeal of white glorification porn begins to give less and less dopamine hit as a reward and so I am getting bored or burnt out with porn that is psychologically rewarding but not chemically rewarding. The trick now I guess is basically to pull away from porn entirely now instead of relapsing into some other kind of fucked up kink/fetish and beginning the cycle anew, and certainly not either relapsing or diving into further interracial pornography. which I don’t think is easy for anyone who has been inundated from such young age (like me, you, and many others).

It’s easy to say “tldr stop cranking your jank and touch grass bro”, but the impulse to fap is very strong on someone who is for lack of a better term trapped in a hell of their own unwitting making (ie harmlessly fapping when you were a teenager once every 2 weeks or so, now has become a near daily occurrence to cope with the stresses of your life and escape from the world).

I just, wish i never saw what i saw, but in the end, the things i hate has carved me into the person i am now.
And, you're right, my life fucking sucks, and porn, the feeling of pleasure for split second is the thing that somehow saves me from harsh reality.
Im not some incel, i just, im fucking lonely. I have friends, yet they are not as good friends as me. Im that typical optimistic guy that jokes around, seriously sometimes i harm my self not in the sense of some suicidical shit, i just do it, because im fucking tired of masturbating and losing my self to some shit, i just cut my arms and shoulders.
So, i figured out that maybe with hate i will be able to truly leave the grasp of what i hate, and atleast control my urges.

Stop watching porn.

Don't try to stop all at once otherwise you're just going to relapse the moment you have a dirty thought and pop a boner - hell, you're not even going to quit entirely because that's fucking stupid - All humans have sexual urges/needs and repressing them only leads to negative emotions in the long-run. If you had a girlfriend or were constantly hitting one night stands maybe quiting porn entirely would be possible but the majority of men online are single ( not that i can blame them, as an adult you just get hit with "uhm , I have a boyfriend" 94% of the time)

How you do it is by limiting porn consumption to say, once every 2 days then lets say every 2 weeks or so gradually limit it more. When you've gained the self control to only choke your chicken once per week or once every 2 weeks I'd say you're fine and no longer a chronic gooner.
Getting some hobbies that aren't online also help - learn an instrument, get a gym membership, spend an hour at the bar, set up hangouts with your friends more often, get into mountain biking, etc.
This will help you from getting bored and strangling the sasauge every 2 seconds of the day. Half the time I get home from the gym I'm literally too tired to beat it because I used up all my energy and testosterone on lifting

IvoryFutaIII said:

Stop watching porn.

Don't try to stop all at once otherwise you're just going to relapse the moment you have a dirty thought and pop a boner - hell, you're not even going to quit entirely because that's fucking stupid - All humans have sexual urges/needs and repressing them only leads to negative emotions in the long-run. If you had a girlfriend or were constantly hitting one night stands maybe quiting porn entirely would be possible but the majority of men online are single ( not that i can blame them, as an adult you just get hit with "uhm , I have a boyfriend" 94% of the time)

How you do it is by limiting porn consumption to say, once every 2 days then lets say every 2 weeks or so gradually limit it more. When you've gained the self control to only choke your chicken once per week or once every 2 weeks I'd say you're fine and no longer a chronic gooner.
Getting some hobbies that aren't online also help - learn an instrument, get a gym membership, spend an hour at the bar, set up hangouts with your friends more often, get into mountain biking, etc.
This will help you from getting bored and strangling the sasauge every 2 seconds of the day. Half the time I get home from the gym I'm literally too tired to beat it because I used up all my energy and testosterone on lifting

Yeah what she said. I was a bit of a coomer NEET until I took the outsidepill and got a job. Now I spend most of my free time at the library, or hanging out with my one (1) friend. Longstory cut for viewer retention, go make friends, go do fun things that don't involve your pingus, and stay away from soul-sucking harpies who you will try to have sex with but they will ruin your life. And drink unfluoridated water or Alex Jones will twist your dick off.

AmITheOnlyOne said:

Hello bleachbooru, not gonna make this entry long or emotional.
Im tired, im fully fucking tired of the state of mind where i am right now. Its not suicidal, but its fucking anger.
Im white, and i want to be proud to be white. But the fucking porn addiction made me observe that fucking worst side of blacked where "Sissy whitebois" masturbate or whatever. Seriously, im fucking angry at my self for being like this, i want to stop masturbating, i want to think only what i want.
But no. My fucking brain remembers almost every damn video or damn images i didnt even look on but simply scrolled away. I dont want to think about it, but my stupid fucking brain continues, i even punch my self in the head, trying to fucking dont think about it.
Seriously, maybe i could try knocking out a wedge with a wedge, trying to goon my head off to bleached, so i could actually forget about shit i've already planted in my head.
I dont know what to do, and i fucking wished i never knew about this shit, never knew about blacked or any fucking interacial porn.
Im tired, i just wish there was a way for me to erase my memory and be in peace.

To be honest, it even crossed the line of hate, i want to kill niggers, or i want to kill damn race traitors bitches. I want to make someone feel full pain of what i felt, i fucking hate porn.

Log off the internet. Full stop.

You're in an addiction loop and you're unable to break away from it because you keep surrounding yourself with the positive feedback triggers for said addiction. What you need to do is walk away fully for online activities. If you must, turn off your router/modem and stick to playing single player games for a time. Though the best solution would be to just go to the park, turn on your favorite music, and talk a walk through the surrounding area to clear your head.

BlutWieEisen wrote out a fantastic post to situation similar to yours that I encourage you to read fully. topic #806

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